jokes, funny jokes, short jokes

Why are cemeteries surrounded with walls?

Because people are dying to get in there.

If ur lover sends you romantic msgs then be vry hppy
think who z sending those msgs to ur lover?
My job is over!
Nrayan Nrayan.. 🙂

jokes, funny jokes, short jokes

How to Kill a mosquito:
Catch it alive,
Tie its legs
then make gudgudi in its stomach
and when it laughs
,Catch its mouth
& pour a spoon of Poison ….

  1. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  2. Why did the policeman smell bad? He was on duty.
  3. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE!
  4. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.
  5. What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
  6. What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
  7. Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Why the long face?”
  8. A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve mushrooms here”. Mushroom says, “why not? I’m a fungai!”
  9. I never make mistakes…I thought I did once; but I was wrong.
  10. What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit?…Ba-na-na-naaa!
  11. What did the little fish say when he swam into a wall? DAM!
  12. Knock knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. (finish this joke in your head)
  13. Where does a sheep go for a haircut? To the baaaaa baaaaa shop!
  14. What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!

Wife TV par match dekh rahi thi,
husband smart banke aya or bola,
“DARLING MEIN KAISA LAG RAHA HU?” tabhi wife zorse chillayi’

Sardar: Why are all these people running? Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup. Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why are
others running?

ANew OFFER! Call rates ab Dimaag ke
size ke hisaab se honge.
Jitna chota dimag utne kam call rates.
Congrats!!! U r chosen for FREE CALLS

Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi.
Santa: Kamaal hai!
Sab ka nishana chook gaya?

Jab hota hai tera didar..
Dil darakta hai bar bar..
Jab hota hai tera didar..
Dil darakta hai bar bar..Aadat se majboor ho tum jane kab mang lo udhar

Patient to Nurse: ‘I Love You’
Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura
Liya”. NURSE : “chal jhoota ,
Mene to sirf tumhaari Kidney churai

A girl comes late to class.
Teacher: Why a re you late ?
Girl: One boy was following me, sir.
Teacher: So, What ?
Girl: That boy was walking very slow.

You are Bandar It means:
B= Beautifull
A= Attractive
N= Naughty
D= Decent
A= Awesome
R= Rambo… 🙂

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa Aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

Sardar bought a new mobile.
He send message to everyone from his Cell
“My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 1110 Now it is nokia 6600?

What did the male dog say 2 the female dog in the cool nite with bright moon lite?
Socho ?

What else can a dog say?

Banta: What’s the similarity between Marriage and 11:59pm?
Santa: Dono k baad 12-bajte hain aur din badal jate hain.

Boy got a 0 in EXAM. His father asked him: YEH KIYA HAY ???

4 boys on bike..
Police:- triple riding is banned aur
tum 4 baithe ho…..??
Boys shocked…
look behind..
and says:- saalo 5wa kaha gir

Lady Teacher: Mujhe Bachon ki Shakal se pata lag jaata hai ki Unke Dimag mai kya Chal raha hai.
Student:”Fir bhi Ap Apna Dupatta sahi nahi kr rahi ho!

Teacher: Sher Ka Pinjra Khula Reh Jaae To Kya Ho Sakta Hai.?
Santa: Sir,
Very Simple Sher Chori Ho Sakta Hai..!!

PriVaTe SCHooL Ke BaCHe Zoo Me: ohH!
Wow MNKy iS SLeePiNG DNT DiSTuB…..

GoVT SCHooL K BaCHe in zoo:
OYe Wo Dekh Tera BaaP So rHa H
PaThar Maar SaaLe ko….

When a woman loves you, you’re a husband;
When a few women love you, you’re a man;
When many women love you, you’re a lover;
When hundreds of women love you, you’re an idol;
When thousands of women love you, you’re a leader;
When all the women in the world love you, you’re not human but a gold, diamond, Rupee, Dollar, Euro, Yen…

What’s the most most embarrassing moment in one’s life?

When nobody likes your Facebook status!

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